Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We're too hungover to prance.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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