I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
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It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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