matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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