i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
