It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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