if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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