I cannot find my penis.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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