This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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