why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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