my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
