you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i will never coherently bang her
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
