your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
