They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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