I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
