this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
