she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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