Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
