i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
