walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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