I want to stick my p in your. b.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
