there's paper in my vomit.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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