First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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