see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
