So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
