i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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