i jhust puked up my retainher.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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