brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.