I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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