i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
