i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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