The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
