how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
