He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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