just come out here and I will go home with you...
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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