Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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