Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
