We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
