She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
