How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
