no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
