He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
