Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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