what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize