thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize