That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
