Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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