yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
