i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
