Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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