At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
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you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
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Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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