I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
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why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
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So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.