census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.