Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
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He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
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there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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