guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.