He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.