have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
25 Hilarious ‘Sex Clubs’ You Should Try To Join
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.