Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
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Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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