Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
false alarm, still single
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
