She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
