i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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