if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
