Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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