She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
how does that bad decision feel?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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